What's left unsaid
by DaniKi
Summary: 5x10 tag, The show's writers wouldn't let them say goodbye to each other so I helped them out a little. Ch. 2 and Kensi's coming back
1. Chapter 1

**Ladies and gentlemen, they have a THING! It's finally official… wohoo! But as glad as I was because of the talk they had by the ambulance, the sadder (and in tears) I was at the end. Deeks looked like a lost little boy standing there all alone. So to find my peace for Daniela's and therefore Kensi's upcoming absence from the show I had to write this peace. Enjoy!**

**Last note: Thanks to all the members who helped me out last time I asked for a summary. Special thanks to Kyra73 for the little hint;)**

* * *

She simply hated Granger! How dare he put her on a long-term mission right now? He really has the worst timing ever! So here she was following him to the waiting car without a chance to collect herself and without telling Deeks that she was sorry. She had been looking forward to their second – or was it first real – date and she had been so brave earlier by telling him what she wanted but that she needed him to be patient. And he had looked so happy. Those blue eyes of his had reflected all his emotions. She wanted to kiss him right there, hug him whatever just touch him in any way to feel him. Just like she had last night. He had done a bold move by telling her he wanted to be with her at his place but she had followed. They had gone to his place and had talked and touched and kissed for hours. Proof of that were the dark circles under his eyes this morning and the fact that she was still wearing the same shirt as the day before. Of course, Callen and Sam had noticed but they hadn't said anything further and she was glad for that. She had been confused all day. Things were awkward this morning. None of them knew what to do or how to react. They had talked, they had argued, she had slapped him in the face, she had given him her dad's knife to keep him safe, she had finally admitted they had a thing and they had agreed on a date tonight – all of this in just one day. And she was exhausted because of all this. She had looked forward to spending a quiet evening with him maybe straightening some more things out. She just wanted to be close to him, she wanted to feel him around her again. But then Granger and Hetty had come and had reassigned her. She didn't like this – she like this at all. She had so many regrets the moment she entered the black SUV with Granger she had a hard time not to break down crying.

"Agent Blye, you okay?" Granger brought her out her thoughts.

"What? Yeah, sure, I'm fine," she lied.

"As I said before this mission is Level 4 – classified. Only a few people will know where you are and what you do."

"Yeah, okay, this just came so sudden. It would have been nice to have some more time to…"

"…to say goodbye to Det. Deeks?" he asked knowing exactly what was going on. He was neither stupid nor blind.

"To prepare," she said instead. Yes, it would have been nice to a few more minutes with him.

They fell silent after that and she thought about anything she could do to let him know.

* * *

Deeks couldn't believe what Hetty had just told him. Kensi was gone, nobody knew for how long. She didn't even have the chance to tell him herself. Or didn't she want him to know? No, that's not possible. It was just some hours ago that she had told him she wanted 'them'. She had admitted there was a thing and she needed him to give her time. He would give her all the time in the world. Kensi Blye was definitely worth waiting for and fighting for. Like the little guy in the ambulance had told him – help her off the frozen lake but do it slowly and look left and right so that you don't miss anything. And he would do that. He would go to the end of the world with and for her. But now he was standing in the middle of the empty bullpen not knowing where to go and what to do. He felt hopeless and alone. Even though they seemed to be on the good side for now there was so much more they still needed to talk about. He had been happy when she had asked him about tonight and he had been looking forward ever since. He had texted her some minutes before he arrived back at the mission and his heart had beaten twice its normal pace when he had entered only to find her gone. Worst part was that he didn't know when she would be back, how long he would have to wait to see her beautiful face again. God, he missed her already and he wanted nothing more than to have her back in his arms again to feel her, to smell her, just surround himself with her.

He suddenly felt his phone vibrate and his heart skipped a beat when he opened the message.

_Hey Max, this is Fern. I have to leave for a while but I'll be back. Still need you to help me off the frozen lake. *F_

This was probably the last chance for her to get into contact with him so he had to be quick to reply.

_Don't worry Fern, I'll walk every step on the ice with you. Stay save out there and come back to me asap. Will miss U. *M_

They both still hated that new mission but at least they knew where they stood with each other and had something really good to look forward to as soon as they were back together.

* * *

**I'm pretty sure my mind will soon come up with my version of when they will meet again so I leave this open for a 2****nd**** chapter… but that's it for now. Like it? Didn't like it?**


	2. Chapter 2

**In this chapter Kensi will be on her way back but I decided not to give her a much needed break but instead through her into the next assignment right away, may not be all too logical but somehow I liked the idea. I hope you, dear readers, like it, too;) **

* * *

"Morning," Deeks mumbled when he entered the bullpen. As usual his eyes flew over Kensi's desk hoping to find any trace of her being back. But yet again, he was disappointed when he found nothing. He slumped into his own chair and sighed heavily.

He caught Sam watching him from the side.

"Isn't that the same shirt, you had on yesterday?" Sam asked him.

Before he could answer Callen joined in.

"You slept at Kensi's place again?"

They weren't agents for nothing, right? They noticed such things and they had seen him almost every day for the past three months. Deeks didn't get a chance to explain his actions though, even though he was quite sure they wouldn't understand him anyway.

A whistle from the staircase interrupted them.

"Come on up, guys, we got a case," Eric yelled in their direction.

Sam and Callen got up and walked to the stairs while Deeks was still in his chair fighting an internal battle of whether this was a good thing or not. On the one hand a case meant that they had something to do and that he didn't have too much time to think about Kensi and where she probably was right now. On the other hand it would be another case where he didn't have her by his side to watch each other's back. Sure, Eric and Nell sometimes came along but it surely wasn't the same. They weren't field agents. They would usually go out with them when they needed a tech for undercover work. It simply wasn't the same without Kensi there.

It's been almost 3 months now and all of them missed her. Callen and Sam missed their little sister and were worried about her safety. But Deeks – he missed his partner, his best friend, his girlfriend. He was just miserable without her. He started sleeping at her house from time to time whenever he had a really bad day and missed her so much that it hurt. He found it comforting to surround himself with her; even it was by just sleeping in her bed. He would lay down on the left side of the bed imagining she laid on the right side with him. He was quite sure that if it weren't for this reassignment they would have shared bed more often than not by now.

With a heavy sigh he got up from his desk and followed his two colleagues upstairs not knowing that someone else was currently briefed on exactly the same case while sitting on a plane back home.

* * *

It's been three months in hell for Kensi and she was more than happy to be back home in a short while. But instead of letting her take a breath and maybe some time for herself Granger had handed her a case file and told her she needed to be ready for this as soon as the plane landed at LAX. Her first instinct was to throw the file back at him telling Granger she needed to do something first namely get back to her partner. Three damn months had passed since they had exchanged that last text message before she had to leave. She didn't have any chance to get into contact with him even though she desperately needed to hear his voice again. She missed him so much and she prayed every single day that they could continue their thing exactly where they had left off. He had told her he would go every step with her and she hoped that hadn't changed over the past months.

She opened her mouth to protest but Granger only gave her a warning glare.

"Be ready for this, agent Blye."

So she closed her mouth again, opened the file and started reading. She read about an arms dealer who preferred to do his business in an upper class club in downtown LA. He always had the VIP section reserved for him and tonight he was supposed to meet a business man to finalize a weapons deal. When she read the name of the assigned undercover agent who was supposed to play the part of the business man her heart suddenly pounded faster – Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD.

When she read further she found out that Sam would pose as his bodyguard, Callen would stay at the bar watching from the distance. Eric and Nell would overwatch from their seats at OPS and then she read her own name. She would be posing as the business man's wife. She wasn't sure she liked this. They hadn't spoken in three months but she was supposed to slip into an undercover role tonight without even having the chance to talk to him as herself.

"I know you would have preferred to meet with your team beforehand but we only have tonight for this. He'll be gone by tomorrow morning. I had someone send some clothes for you to wear tonight and we'll drive to the club as soon as we land. Your teammates will be there already and you have to slip into the role immediately. There's time for everything else later. We cannot afford to fail here, understood?" Granger explained.

"Yes sir," she replied. She didn't really have a choice here.

So she would see Deeks again really soon. That's a good thing but he would be Thomas Blake and she would be Sarah Blake.

* * *

At OSP Eric was in the middle of explaining how they would approach tonight. Hetty interrupted him introducing their alias for the evening.

"Mr. Deeks, you'll be Thomas Blake, a business man who wants to buy these weapons, money is not an issue for him. Mr. Hanna will be your bodyguard," both Sam and Deeks raised an eyebrow at this. "Mr. Callen, you just stay at the bar scanning the surroundings for anything unusual."

All three men nodded and turned to leave.

"Gentlemen," Hetty interrupted them. "Before you go prepare, there's some more so hear me out."

They turned around and tensed up somehow. This didn't sound good.

"Assistant Director Granger said it would be helpful to get a female agent in this, too. Obviously, Ms. Jones doesn't have enough field experience, so Granger decided he would send another agent in. She'll take the part of Sarah Blake, Mr. Blake's wife." Their eyes went wide when they heard this. That's a joke, right? Nobody liked this idea. No surprise Granger came up with that.

"Hetty, we all know we're perfectly capable of doing this alone. We don't need another agent especially not someone we don't know," Callen said speaking for all of them.

"Mr Callen, I heard your opinion now but this is not something I will discuss with you. The agent will meet you at the club."

They all sensed that Hetty would not accept anymore 'opinions' on this and turned to the exit.

"Mr. Deeks," Hetty stopped him from leaving OPS.

"Yes Hetty," he answered not bothering to hide how annoyed he was with this new assignment especially the undercover with another agent part.

"I know this case will be tough for you but nevertheless I ask you to remain professional especially regarding the undercover work you need to do."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that?" Did she not trust him to remain professional with another woman? How could she even think he would do something other than be professional?

"Just do what I asked you to do Mr. Deeks and do not let your emotions cloud your judgment or your actions. Understood?"

"Yes Hetty," he answered though he still wasn't sure what she meant. Did she think he would betray Kensi?


End file.
